if you take this away i have no one to escort my fears to the place i have
built as my fear-fort.  take this away and i have no one to hope for, no rea-
son to wait through the winter's sad discourse.  no moon-like escape
when the night needs a light source.  the look on your face when you
loved what i stood for.  your smell and your taste like a note on the front
door.  a letter to say i miss those sad arms of yours.  so i lay in my room
and i dream of the colors that make water move and a body discover why
so many choose to lay with a lover.  because just when you think you're
getting well you see the ring around your heart is held by some sillouette
turned to walk away but you can tell had a lovely face.  remember the
days when you stayed here long before i had to erase all the pictures of
horses you'd drawn on the space between my night stand and head
board?  so what now, arrange in disappointment order old lovers' names
as a decorative border on a window pane while the days just grow short-
er?  or are they the same and it's me that grows colder?  like a one kid
army of the good witch, all alone i raise my fist at night on my bike
around your neighborhood and shout, "make me pure, make my heart
good."  well a vigil today is held in an airport to remember and save a
love that could not work and that beautiful face i never did deserve.  and
the ferns died away, the ones that we planted, too many mistakes in the
care that they wanted.  just their skeletons remain now the garden is
haunted.  and i'm wasting away in Georgia but thank god New England's
far away, Massachusetts i once
love you but there's a whole
group of states now i dont want to
set foot upon where i found your
diary's list of all the things you
never did that attic full of feel-
ings hid when you were such a shy
kid.  in bed do you lay under an
afghan humming and wait to find if
the day ends without a massive
array of self-deprications?  oh no
wait, no it's me who does that.  oh
no wait, wait it's me who does that.